It’s that time of year…gearing up for the holidays.  It should be fun until it becomes a battle of the Ex’s. Jealousies and old hurts often surface when facing missing a special day with your kids because this year it’s Ex’s turn to have Thanksgiving.  There is no getting around this, it’s human nature, and it can bring out the ugliest in all if us, myself included.  I have not always behaved well when I was missing my kids Christmas day, I admit it.  The best advice I have is when creating a parenting plan think hard about what works for you to avoid flare ups later.  A lucky few do end up sharing the holidays with Ex’s but that is rare.  You parenting plan is the fallback, what to do when you are not getting along, so make sure it’s equitable and workable because they are extremely difficult to change.